OcToBeR aLrEaDy

Yeah I know we need to keep up on this dern blog. Jessica really never gets on and when she does she doesn't write, she just reads. I love to write about our life and whats going on in it. Well lately for me it's just trying to find a job. It's probably the lowest I have ever been due to the fact I have always had at least 2 jobs. It depresses me bad, however I have to keep my head up and think positive and that's all I do. Jessica has had the boys on her mind a lot lately and it is bringing her down. She doesn't like to call Sunni and John cause she thinks it is a burden on them. She doesn't want them to hate her in anyway. However I tell her over and over again that Sunni and John are the most amazing people I have met, I don't think they mind when she calls to see how Jacob and Joseph are. I could never understand the hurt Jessica feels for giving the boys up. I do know they are with the best family I have met. Not only that but they are from the same birth mom. I don't know how to really word any of this. I look at it this way. John and Sunni took both the boys. I honestly think the boys were meant to come from Jessica, yet be with John and Sunni. I hold Jessica at night when she cries and I honestly don't ever know the right thing to say. So I usually lay there silent, it hurts me to see her hurt. I do know she did the right thing. Those boys have the best parents and the best big brother. Their family is amazing. Jessica just needs to know she can write them, or call them and they are not going to be mad. Does any of this make sense? She also asks me if I think the boys will be mad at her and hate her when they are older for giving them up. She thinks they will be mad at her if we have kids and they grow up and know that. That they will wonder why she kept our kids and not them. I honestly think they will understand that she was young and not able to properly care for them at the time. I think they will love her more for that reason. She also wonders if they will get mad at their mom and dad and say "fine I am going to Jessica's." That scares her more than anything. She does not want them to hurt them like that. She wants them to know that she loves them a lot, yet John and Sunni are their parents. Anyways before I sound more dumb in this matter, lets move on.
The pig is getting neutered on Monday. I can't wait cause his smell when he humps stuff stinks. And by stuff I mean my damn leg. Madden for some damn reason likes to run away if the garage door is left open. And we live on the hill in Bountiful so it takes a lot of hills to climb to find him. My sister Aniesha just found out she is pregnant. I could not be any happier for her. I told her I will take it and give it back when I am sick of it. Um, other than that I don't know what else is new in our wonderful lives. Yeah what a fun filled life we live....Anyways I thought I would update you all on everything. Todd